something I wrote
I wrote this last month during my latest stay in the hospital.
The Diabetes Police
Almost seven years ago I was given a life sentence without parole; I was
diagnosed with diabetes. I remember the day the verdict came in. I was sitting
in the clinic with a blood sugar of 595. (Yes, years later I still remember
that number!) The doctor, while amazed that I was still standing sounded like I
was intentionally breaking some law I never knew existed.
Because it was the Friday before Easter I was sent home to be with my family;
I was released on bail. Three days later I returned to start serving my
sentence. My first ever hospital stay is still a vivid memory. Hooked to an IV
and heart monitor, my small hospital room seemed an awful lot like a jail cell.
My second day in the hospital was April 1st. All that day I hoped and prayed
someone would tell me I was actually innocent, that it was all one huge, cruel
April Fool’s Dad gag. I wanted someone to tell me I could go home and forget
about all of it. Of course, that never happened. And yet, I still hope my
conviction will be overturned. I know that will never happen, but like April
2nd seven years ago, when I think about the fact that I will have to live with
this disease, this punishment, every single solitary day for the rest of my life
I find myself completely overwhelmed.
Nurses are a lot like correction officers; some are sympathetic to your
situation while others tell you to just get with the program and walk away from
you.
If nurses are correction officers than doctors muct me judges. Over the
years I have been in front of a lot of judges. Like correction officers, some
are willing to listen and try to understand while others are cold and
impersonable. Whichever category they fall under, every judge will tell you
‘Tough, go serve your time’ in some way shope or form.
The final parallel in my little story is this; life sentence without parole
or diabetes, I have no control. I have no control over my life long punishment
and diabetes has the ultimate control over me–it always will.
February 26, 2004