Looking for a good shoulder…..
OK, gang….I’m in need of an understanding shoulder today…….. Should have been a really good day for me. It’s my birthday and my diabetes is 28 years old today. Last night, I found out that a friend of mine who is also T1 is having some major problems. He’s nearly blind in one eye due to no new blood vessel growth and is having bad problems with the other eye. No bleeders yet, but that has just made it easier for him to ignore. He is now facing 7 laser surgeries, to be followed up by vitrectomies in BOTH eyes.
Ever since my vitrectomy, in November of 1999, I have been trying to talk to him about taking care of himself without going so far as nagging. Apparently, he didn’t hear a word I was saying. He will be 25 in April, and has been T1 for almost 20 years. This guy is like a little brother to me. When his Dad was telling me about it all, I got a real kick in the gut. Apparently Chris (my friend) told his Dad that “Stacy went through this & she’s OK. She’s not worrying anymore about her BG’s or anything.” Whew. I must have been talking to a wall when I told him how scared I was & how much harder I was working at my control.
ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I know how my Mom felt. And I know it is a lesson that he has to learn on his own. I’m just so frustrated. And that he tried to use *me* as an example for his own defense, when it is sooooo off base.
I would be ever so grateful if you could all mention my friend when you say your prayers tonight…..to whichever deity you prefer…….not fussy at this point.
Thanks for listening. I just really needed to get that out.
I ask my God to Bless you all.
Thanks,
Stacy
August 6th, 2005 at 8:54 am
Stacy, I will make a point of mentioning him each time I pray today. I’m having one of those days that God’s ears are going to be really red by this evening, in fact they will probably ache!
Carol
OK, gang….I’m in need of an understanding shoulder today…….. Should have been a really good day for me. It’s my birthday and my diabetes is 28 years old today. Last night, I found out that a friend of mine who is also T1 is having some major problems. He’s nearly blind in one eye due to no new blood vessel growth and is having bad problems with the other eye. No bleeders yet, but that has just made it easier for him to ignore. He is now facing 7 laser surgeries, to be followed up by vitrectomies in BOTH eyes.
Ever since my vitrectomy, in November of 1999, I have been trying to talk to him about taking care of himself without going so far as nagging. Apparently, he didn’t hear a word I was saying. He will be 25 in April, and has been T1 for almost 20 years. This guy is like a little brother to me. When his Dad was telling me about it all, I got a real kick in the gut. Apparently Chris (my friend) told his Dad that “Stacy went through this & she’s OK. She’s not worrying anymore about her BG’s or anything.” Whew. I must have been talking to a wall when I told him how scared I was & how much harder I was working at my control.
ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I know how my Mom felt. And I know it is a lesson that he has to learn on his own. I’m just so frustrated. And that he tried to use *me* as an example for his own defense, when it is sooooo off base.
I would be ever so grateful if you could all mention my friend when you say your prayers tonight…..to whichever deity you prefer…….not fussy at this point.
Thanks for listening. I just really needed to get that out.
I ask my God to Bless you all.
Thanks,
Stacy
August 7th, 2005 at 2:10 am
Thank you, Carol. I really do appreciate it.
Carol Farthing-Cusick <carol@…
Stacy, I will make a point of mentioning him each time I pray today. I’m having one of those days that God’s ears are going to be really red by this evening, in fact they will probably ache!
Carol
August 7th, 2005 at 8:20 pm
Judith,
Thank you so much. I think what is frustrating me the most is the understanding of needing to learn the attitude for yourself. I hope that he does understand that I have improved my level of self care. As for taking care of myself, I am working hard on that. My husband & I are hoping to get the green light from my endo to start trying for a baby after my next A1c (scheduled in early February). I made sure his Dad would pass along my offer of listening & sharing more details of my own experience, so we will see if I hear from him on that. Like I said, I think I know how my own Mom felt. (Major tone of respect there, for ALL parents of T1’s!!! God Bless You!!)
Also, thanks for the B-Day wishes. Last year, I was at a funeral for one of my Mom’s sisters, and Mom completely forgot that it was my birthday. Can’t blame her, all things considered. Still don’t know what hubby’s excuse was for not remembering…LOL….he’s just forgetful, though. Again, my thanks….
Stacy
Judith Ann <judith_ann59@…
Hi, Stacy,
First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Doing the Dance of Joy for you!!!
You & your friend are in my prayers.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could push a button or say a word, and everyone would be OK, or do what what they “should” to care for themselves? I think sometimes how God must feel. Or, how the parents here must feel with their babies for whom they would do ANYTHING to “make it go away.”
It’s so easy to “see” what we want to see in any experience, and take from it sometimes things that it doesn’t own. It’s not a reflection on you that he “heard” only that you were doing better and didn’t “hear” that you took care & are doing well, though it must feel a little so. You weren’t talking to a wall, but the ears hear what they want to hear, and the mind retains what it feels important or comforting.
And, it may be that he is being positive, which is great!! That may even spur him on to start to care for himself better!!! Positive attitude is many times the catalyst for reciprocation of good things, like caring for oneself. So you may well have helped, even when it seems like you were talking to the wall.
You never know what seeds you plant, by your words or by your actions!!
Take care of yourself today, not just diabetically but especially emotionally. Love yourself extra today!! And……..(((((HUGS!!!!))))) from Kansas!!! Judith
August 8th, 2005 at 3:23 pm
By the way, “Happy Birthday!” If I got my head out of my own butt, I would have said that in the last reply!
Carol
Thank you, Carol. I really do appreciate it.
Carol Farthing-Cusick <carol@…
Stacy, I will make a point of mentioning him each time I pray today. I’m having one of those days that God’s ears are going to be really red by this evening, in fact they will probably ache!
Carol
August 9th, 2005 at 12:37 am
Stacey,
Prayers on their way!
Stacey, I realize you are concerned, however, don’t you dare feel guilty. I thought I sensed just a bit of that in your post. Your friend had the information to make decisions. You cannot/could not hold his hand, nor punish him if he did not do as you knew he should. That he compares himself to you could be taken personally, I can see that. But, as has been stated in this group so many times, everyone is different, and everyone’s body is going to respond was differently to situations. To keep praying for him is the most powerful weapon you have. We will, too.
Joan
August 9th, 2005 at 6:46 pm
Carol,
We know what really happened. You were too busy looking at the picture you took of yourself with the computer monitor!
Joan
p.s. A very happy birthday wish to you, Stacey!
August 13th, 2005 at 4:20 am
LOL!!! I sent that to you??? It is really a likeness, though!
Carol
Carol,
We know what really happened. You were too busy looking at the picture you took of yourself with the computer monitor!
Joan
p.s. A very happy birthday wish to you, Stacey!
August 13th, 2005 at 9:37 pm
I was given an ultimatum at my endo’s office. I wanted to be sure before we started that I was on the right track. He said he wanted my A1c under 7, or he would put me in the hospital to get it there if I turned up preg w/o his OK. That is why I am waiting on my next A1c. If he’s happy with that, then I have his blessing. I don’t want to scare you, but my OB/GYN said that high sugars during preg can contribute to birth defects. That was enough to convince me. (Plus I handle the birth control, so I had final say!) Good luck & keep us posted. With any luck, I will only be a few months behind you!!!
Stacy
mary t <mrsmary_ellen@…
I have never in my life, this pregnancy or George (2 yr old) planned or started a pregnancy, wish I had it would prevent a lot of my worries! Both times I have been on a med taht your not supposed to be on when prego, so then I go crazy for 10 months wondering if all is ok!! I really wish my body would help me plan this sort of thing!!! After this the tubes are getting snipped for me and hubby!
August 30th, 2005 at 11:15 pm
Mary,
What kind of strips do you use? If I have some extras that would be compatible with your machine, I’ll send ‘em your way.
Joan